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Archive for June, 2009

idea Paint

So today, I painted two walls of one of the offices at Jet Set with ideaPaint, a paint-on whiteboard solution.  It’s very highly rated, and is supposedly more durable than all but the most expensive whiteboards.  It’s also cheaper per-square foot than a regular whiteboard, so we thought we’d try it in one office to see how we liked it.

Of course, the walls in our offices are drywall with a nice bumpy pattern on them, which meant that before it could be painted, it had to be:

  • Taped off
  • Sanded
  • Primed

The first part was a no-brainer.  Tape off the area.  Duh.

The second turned out to be more work than we’d anticipated.  Rade tried to sand the walls, which aside from making our black fridge turn white from dust blowing into the hall, didn’t help much.  The next attempt was to use drywall compound to smooth out the walls, then sanding that down.  That worked.  But once done, the entire thing then had to be sanded yet again.

So then it had to be primed, so Rade put two coats of primer on it one night after work.  Ok, so all that remained was to paint the idea paint onto the surface, which fell to me to do this weekend.

Of course you know if it went smoothly I’d not bother posting more than a sentence about this.

First off, the stuff comes in two cans, which the instructions tell you to mix together.  Once you do this, they make it very clear you have ONE HOUR to get it all on the walls before it explodes / gains sentience / wants a trust fund / goes after Sarah Connor… whatever.  What’s interesting is they don’t tell you what happens if you wait over an hour.  There’s not even an “or else!” at the end.

Imagine you had to paint turpentine over two entire walls of an office.  That’s how toxic this stuff is in terms of smell.  You have to wear a mask, which barely helps, and your eyes burn, oh do they burn.  They mention that you should do this in a “well ventilated” area, but the potency of this stuff means that the only area you could consider well ventilated would be outside.  If you used this stuff outside, you’d likely make all the birds in a 40 ft. radius fall over dead.

And this stuff is called paint, but that’s a cute marketing term for it.  It’s a semi-thin liquid that laughs and mocks paintbrushes and anything other than the foam roller it comes with.  It eats paintbrushes, actually.  It just makes them shed bristles since that’s the only way they know to cry.  And since this stuff is not meant to have more than one coat put on, every time you lose a bristle into the paint, you’re in this desperate state of trying to get the bristle out and then roll over the area before the stuff reaches the “or else” state, as mentioned previously.

Oh, and did I mention this stuff sticks to everything.  Anything that touches this stuff is corrupted.  Cuthulu would be proud of the corruptive power ideaPaint wields.  The Emperor cries himself to sleep over how much more permanently corrupting ideaPaint is than the dark side of the force.  I didn’t wear gloves (big, big mistake) and I’ve still got specks of the stuff on my hands.  Soap and water didn’t get it off.  Goop? Nope.  Nail polish remover?  No.  Pumice stone? Not even close.  This stuff is on you until the skin layer peels off.

And anything else it touches you may as well just throw out.  It’s that evil.

We’ll see in a week if the stuff was worth it.

Did I mention it takes a week to dry?

4 comments

Seriously?

Wow, talk about forcing players to play your way.  What would ever possess someone to make a control scheme like this?  Blur out my dialogue choices?! Head-only navigation?!  My interest level in this game just dropped to zero.  It could be released on the web as a flash game at this point, which with point and click it would likely work a lot better.

Dragon’s Lair patterns with a bit of freedom between each.

Video GamesE3 2009E3 2009
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